So as I sit here and type this trying to be organised and professional, I know deep down that another.
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There's always the in-game option of going "On Holiday" - a code word for digital euthanasia, I've no doubt - but I could never bear to think of my football manager locking the doors of his Portakabin, drawing the blinds and ending it all after being dumped out of the Cup by Rochdale.
I've hidden the disk, buried the box in the garden and given the game to a friend in order to regain control of my life. Doing bad things in the game could also play on your conscience - like the time I sacked my team's 70-odd year old physiotherapist, then felt awful all day and convinced myself old people were giving me disapproving looks on the bus home.īut if the pull of this virtual world all becomes too much then you can take matters into your own hands. A digital grudge had become a hard-wired, real-world emotional response and it was frightening. In my game world they'd handed in a transfer request or missed training. I would suddenly start to develop an irrational dislike of a particular player, inexplicably kicking off when they appeared on Football Focus like a dog going mad at the telly. Undoubtedly the most dangerous element of the game is how its narrative creeps into your everyday life. It's normally in front of a horrified coffee shop – still, at least in a coffee shop you get the option to get up and walk out. Of course it's not always possible to hide your emotions, like an away fan in the home end, a guttural yelp to celebrate a match-winning goal occasionally escapes.
I've also sneaked downstairs once the rest of the house is asleep to see if an audacious transfer bid had been accepted. Over the years I've mastered a shifty 'Alt-Tab', swiftly hiding a thrilling third round FA Cup tie behind a spreadsheet whilst in the office. Football Manager is always lurking whilst you work.
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I love the game but it plays dirty, sitting there on your laptop softly beckoning you to have One More Go. At least a PS4 involves the very deliberate act of going home and sitting on the couch to play. Your digital doppelgänger usually displays characteristics you wish you had - my managers are always strict disciplinarians and inspiring leaders, railing against the excesses of the modern world - kind of like Daniel Day-Lewis in There Will be Blood, but in a shellsuit and with his initials on the breast (D.P. Each fight with a pampered player or falling out with a pushy agent writes the next chapter in your virtual life story. Once you create your manager, your limitless alter-ego, a parallel reality begins and there’s no turning back. Hitting START is like the Big Bang, an irreversible explosion from which a whole new universe erupts, expands and develops. It’s the stories that really hook me, and Football Manager offers a fully-functioning alternative reality.
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My adult life is still full of regular retreats into the land of make-believe - my biggest problem, a reluctance to get back to reality - but like I always used to explain to my mum, "This Unicorn isn't going to house train itself". I've played Football Manager every year since it first came out and things always get out of hand.Įver since I was a kid I've loved playing games, my brother and I would make crap board games with ridiculous rules, design weird cardboard-box 'hotels' for our cat to live in, or make ‘bases' in adult magazine peppered hedges by railway tracks. My conscious participation in the real world was at stake. Praise be!īut this euphoria was tempered by the fact that deep down I knew I'd have another battle on my hands. The joy came from the fact that the Football Manager video game is alive and well in its 10th year: the latest incarnation is out now and the graphics look better than ever. I sat watching An Alternative Reality, a new documentary about Football Manager, with a strange mix of joy and foreboding.
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